beginner’s guide to eurovision song contest
Omg, can someone come and baby sit my mother? She’s visiting me that weekend but I want to watch Eurovision and get drunk, goddamn. SVBhnsvfjhksvaafgjka
View from the Train
If you’re ever in britain, when you walk the dog it’s called “Dogging”
So if you’re going to walk your dog be sure to ask all of your british friends if they’d like to come dogging with you!
Make sure to invite everyone out dogging when you come here!
And make sure that you wear a fanny pack and suspenders and declare to everyone you meet that these are things that you have on your person. Us cooky Brits just love to know such details.
If you do buy a nice house in the country, it is called “cottaging”. Be sure to let everybody know you did that!
Romeo and Juliet is not a love story it’s a cautionary tale about how everything would be better if you would just chill the fuck out
‘Everything would be better if you would just chill the fuck out’ - every play ever written by Shakespeare
“Yo, Hamlet. Chill the fuck out about your dad.”
“Yo, King Lear. Chill the fuck out about your daughters.”
“Yo, Othello. Chill the fuck out about your wife.”
Yo Macbeth, Chill the fuck out about murdering your king.
Fun fact: King Lear’s dad, Bladud, was fabled to have contracted Leprosy. He chilled the fuck out by working as a swineherd. His pigs also contracted the disease and chilled out in mud. Bladud noticed how the pigs were soon healed and jumped in the mud himself. Thus he was healed and returned home to become king. A shrine was built over the healing spring. The Romans invaded and made a new temple and bathhouse where everybody could chill the fuck out. And so the city of Bath was founded.
he’s got such a cute british temper
I could have done with this the other day. One of the words I taught my students……